PPCM breaking news!

A new study was done about PPCM and the findings are huge!

Here's the basics:
- PPCM is now confirmed to be a vascular disease (not enough blood vessels are produced for both mom and baby at the end of pregnancy, which puts too much stress on the heart)
- PPCM is more common in women with preeclampsia
- PPCM is more common with multiples
- PPCM is a 2-trigger step disease (the blood vessel issue is the first trigger, the second trigger is still a mystery).

I know this might not sound like a lot, but it is. Finding any sort of link between women with preeclampsia and PPCM is major. This means whenever a woman diagnosed with preeclampsia complains about not getting enough air or some other congestive heart failure symptom, doctors will actually consider PPCM as a possibility.

I wish I was given this consideration when I went to the ER the first time. Things could have been different.

And on that note...a health update.

I had my 3 month echo and it didn't go so great. My cardiologist wants me to get a pacemaker. I'm in the process of getting 2nd and 3rd opinions. My first appointment is next week.

I joined a PPCM support group on Facebook last month, and they have been both supportive and educational. They were all pretty concerned with the fast pace my doctor wants to go, because the "p" word typically doesn't come up until 10-12 months...since I am improving (it's just going at a snail pace).

If both doctors tell me a pacemaker is the way to go...then I will. The thought of a pacemaker used to really scare me, but the thought of death is even scarier – so a pacemaker doesn't sound too tragic anymore.

Now on to something happier...pictures of Audrey.

Hello parenthood

I know I've turned into a bad blogger, but my time has become scarce.

- Midnight-7:30: Sleep/feed Audrey
- 7:30-8:00: Get ready for work
- 8-8:30: Drop Audrey off at daycare/go to work
- 8:30-5:30: Work
- 5:30-6:00: Pick Audrey up/go home
- 6:00-7:00: Change clothes/go on a walk with Brent, Audrey and the dogs
- 7:00-8:00: Figure out dinner/play with Audrey/start her clustering for the night
- 8:00-9:00: My time with Audrey (aka: Brent's free hour)
- 9:00-10:00: My free time, which usually consists of reading in the tub or sometimes cleaning
- 10:00-10:30: Clean dirty bottles/get diaper bag ready
- 10:30-Midnight: Go to bed and know I'm off Audrey-duty until midnight

This seems to be my schedule every day. The only switch up happens on Friday and Saturday nights, when I have Audrey until midnight and Brent's shift is everything after. Well that, and not working on the weekends.

But Audrey is doing great. She's turning into a fabulous sleeper (averaging a 5-7 hour stretch each night), and is smiling tons (except for when a camera is in front of her...that's basically the fastest way to make her frown).

Here's some photos from Easter.

The Fisher Price Kick & Play Piano Gym that the Easter bunny got her is absolutely amazing. She has always loved to kick, so this is perfect for her.

I can't believe she'll be 12 weeks tomorrow.

Women v. Republican assholes

If I get pregnant again, the odds of needing a heart transplant is a considerable one. Death would be another possibility.

Yet somehow my health risks wouldn’t matter, because my imaginary fetus would carry “personhood rights” while I’ve been downgraded to the status of a farm animal. Who cares what happens to the mom? After all, it’s not like women matter.

Each week, there seems to be a new bill on the table somewhere stripping away more women’s rights.

A bill is getting ready to pass where I live that would allow doctors to lie to women about being pregnant if they suspect the mom might have an abortion. I guess with my pregnancy-induced heart condition, I would now fall into this category. I don’t see anything wrong with a mother choosing her own life, when a fetus is putting her life in danger. And I don’t think I’m a terrible person for having this belief.

While my husband will be having a vasectomy soon to prevent us from having to make that heartbreaking decision, I can’t help but wonder about the women who don’t have this option. In fact, some hospitals won’t even perform hysterectomies (even lifesaving ones), because they go against their "values.” The fact that any hospital would value death over life is absolutely disgusting.

And just when I think Republican men can’t dehumanize women anymore, they take their douchebaggery to a new level. This week, Georgia is debating a bill that would force women carry stillborn babies until they “naturally” go into labor, because that’s what farm animals do. The point of this is absolutely baffling. The fetus is dead. The only intention from a bill like this can be to cause women emotional trauma…while putting her health in jeopardy. It's like they are actively trying to kill women off.

I get that Republican politicians seem to switch out their wives for newer models more often than the average Joe trades in a car, so the topic of unconditional love might be taboo to them – but most men don’t want their wives to die. Especially when something as simple as birth control (or having a doctor be honest) could save them.

I never thought women would have to prove themselves to be worthy of human rights. We are moving backwards. It makes me terrified for what rights my daughter may never have.

2 Months

1 Month (9 lb, 10 oz. and 22" long):

2 Months (we'll find out stats on Wednesday)

Not only have we hit the 2-month mark, but I return to work on Monday. I can't believe it has been 9 weeks (well 2 weeks at the hospital and 7 weeks at home).

Time really does fly.

As hard as it will be to leave Audrey, I know going back to work will be good for me. With all the changes to my life (mommyhood and heart issues), nothing is the same anymore – so a little normalcy will be good for me.

6 weeks

I can't believe that Audrey is 6 weeks old. In honor of this milestone, we had a penguin party.


This milestone also means that I've been diagnosed with post-partum cardio myopathy for a little more than 5 weeks. I'm doing better adjusting to my new reality. While the echo I wrote about in my last post didn't go as well as hoped for, I am still improving and I just have to keep reminding myself of that.

Brent and I purchased a treadmill a week ago, so I can stay active. And last Saturday my LifeVest came off, which was the best gift of all.

Thank you so much for all your thoughts and kind words.

Meet the power pack

Meet my current fashion accessory:

Yep, this is my LifeVest. I wear it 24/7...unless I'm showering.

The middle part is what's on my back and then the straps snap in the front. The 4 circles are sensors that monitor my heart rate, and the 3 gray rectangular things are the terrifying defibrillators that will shock me if my heart get out of line (if I don't respond to the warning alarm within 30 seconds). The cord going off the bottom of the photo connects to a "battery purse" that I wear around. I think it looks like a binocular case, so I just pretend to be an avid bird watcher.

Yesterday morning, my warning alarm sounded for real while I was sleeping – not only scaring the crap out of me, but also leaving me in quite the funk. Then it did again last night, and again today while I was trying to nap.

The connection between all 3 events? I was sleeping on my left side.

After a phone call to my cardiologist and to the LifeVest company, all is fine. Apparently, the sensors aren't registering correctly at times when I'm on my side and it's giving off "artificial readings." Because of this, I earned a sympathy vote from my cardiologist though – so my echo is being bumped up to tomorrow from Monday.

So, please send any positive heart vibes this way...and hopefully I'll be able to ditch the vest.

Groundhog Day update

Happy Groundhog's Day!

Audrey is now 16 days old and doing great.

As for me, I've been out of the hospital since Friday. While I'm nowhere close to 100% (and who knows if I ever will be), I am getting a little more energy and strength each day. I had my week follow-up appointment with my cardiologist today, and she's impressed with the progress I've made so far. She even reduced my hormone medication to once a day (granted I'm still on 5 different ones – but I'll take any reduction I can get). The real test will come on Feb. 13th, when I have my next echo. Hopefully after that I can say bye bye to the LifeVest.